…many times I’m really unsure if i’ve achieved in a day all the things I’m supposed to do to be a good parent…cos the act of balancing so many different needs and wearing so many different hats is a tricky one, and sometimes you feel like you’ve gotta sacrifice something to accomplish another thing…it’s nice to know that there is a way to gauge how we’re performing in this challenging task of raising arrows…I so welcome the Husband’s wisdom in this…
When you’re in the midst of raising children, it can be difficult to assess your level of “success”. In business, Key Performance Indicators can be a little more straightforward. The ultimate KPI for a company is profit, and for the individual salesman, it is whether he hit his sales target.
How do you measure the KPI of raising a toddler?
Having clear parenting goals which are tailored to the child is necessary to even begin thinking about measuring your own performance. If you have no clear objectives in your parenting, how do you know if you’ve hit them?
For many of us, life seems so busy that setting goals for parenting seems unnecessary. Isn’t parenting just “natural”?
Yes, parenting is natural – in the sense that it is “natural” that you will influence your children by the mere fact that you are the older, wiser ones in your family system. Natural, however does not mean “without effort”, or “without goals”.
Lions naturally raise their cubs – but their goals are clear. The cub is expected to learn to catch prey on their own from a very young age. Eagles teach their little eaglets to fly.
Parents teach their children to…
Be like Christ
“Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ”
When all is said and done, our goal in parenting is that our children become more like Jesus.
Our first goal must be that we are like Christ, because the children will imitate us. The bible did not say “Be obedient to my teachings”.
Hence our first KPI should be – am I more like Christ today than I was last year?
How does one measure that?
Christ-likeness is reflected in the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22 to 23).
Am I more loving? Joyful? Peaceful? Patient? Good? Kind? Faithful? Gentle? Self-controlled?
Our lives are the blackboard that teach the children. This is what Jesus looks like. This is what you should be like.
If we are more like Jesus, chances are, the children will be influenced by lives.
The second KPI comes from the first. If we are more Christ-like, the children’s level of Christ-likeness will also rise.
When I look at my toddler, is she more self-controlled than she was last year? Is she able to wait her turn?
When I look at my 9 year old daughter, can I see that she is more gentle with friends at school? Is she more peaceful? Or is she more frustrated and moody than last year?
If the second KPI seems to be deteriorating, then we must reflect on our own walks with the Lord. Before we take the magnifying glass out to measure our children’s performance, we must allow the Spirit to illuminate our own hearts.
It is also important to note that the fruit of the spirit come together. He is one Spirit, and he has one character. The 9 elements describe the 1 fruit. If the Spirit touches your life you become more loving AND more gentle AND more faithful etc. It is not that you can become more loving but at the same time become increasingly unkind.
Prayer : “Oh Lord, search my heart. Make me whole. Forgive me of my sin and let the fruit of the Spirit grow in my life so that my children can imitate me and be more like You. In Jesus name, Amen”.