calling · Community & Friendship · Healing · peace · success · Women to Women Ministry

How to Defy Average, Anxiety & Ageing – sticky notes to a woman on her birthday

Dear You,

Happy Birthday! 

I know, you’ve never made a big deal about it.

In fact, you feel sorta pitiful for all your Facebook friends, who outta obligation, gotta congratulate you for it.

Look, Facebook’s just reminding your friends that you’re still around and kicking, okay?

And perhaps, birthdays can be that special time of the year where you can rewrite a little of your story — and dream more of the person you wanna be.

Who, deep in their core, would want to merely coast through life, when they can conquer it?   







So. blow those candles, smile your sweetest, and mouth your prayers…but for the sake of your sane self, stop asking all the wrong questions, and just ask yourself one question: ‘how ya livin’?’

Ask yourself this daily, examine yourself deeply. You may just awaken your deepest passion and unleash your greatest potential.

Trust me – you can pick your own brain and plumb into the depth of your own heart when you ask: ‘how ya livin’?’ 

You know how hard you try to be something, find your own identity? Simply march your way out of your own madness today, and decide: don’t remain a victim when you can be a victor.

Now do this:

Find yourself to give yourself. It’s your duty to find yourself, to stand on the shoulders of the giants. So find your bent, mix your passion with your potential, then live truly given, this is how you make your dent.

Free others to free yourself. Forgiveness isn’t a two-way street. Let it start with you. You’re never a victim in Christ, so see the victor in you. Free others off the hook — no strings attached. This is how you free yourself from disappointments, and realign yourself to God’s re-appointments.

Find beauty in brokenness. Whenever you feel shattered, crawl your way back and find your story in His story. Let history be re-written, His redemption now filling all your crevices. Your story of loss is complete in His story of love. Your story of fear takes wings on His story of faith. Your failure?, they too finding perfect comfort in His victory.

Find wisdom by the minutes. Then live wisdom in every minutia. Every great ending starts with every humble beginning, so don’t disdain the small. For your own sake, find joy in your everyday. Cherish yourself and do something that’d make your own heart skip a beat today! 

Look for the loveliest in the lowliest. Don’t stop smiling at strangers. Learn what the aged of the heart knows: wisdom and knowledge are sometimes found in the unlikeliest places, so start looking. Whisper to yourself and your friends: we can brave through any pain, problem, or prognosis because we know of Him who gives great promises. Take heart.

Maybe you can burn this into your mind. Never stop learning, never stop becoming your very best. Stop shortchanging the gift of who you can be to a world starved for love and laughs. You’re not too old, nor too busy to learn the art of living.  Songs of the heart are the eyes that see the great in the small, and envision the result in the process.

For crying out loud, try to do just one thing at a time. Focus only gets sharper when your vision gets narrower. So for once, stop multitasking, okay? Live in the present. Be engaged. Look into their eye, listen with your heart. You’ve only got one go with the kids you’re raising, and one chance with the life you’re living. So just enjoy the ride.

Never break the flow of thanks. Count your rapid blessings really slow. This is how you connect the dot of where you are with where you want to be and make your life truly count. And on days that shred you thin?, get out and know the hand that holds you still. Find joy in the littlest of things and fall in love all over again with the life you’ve got. Get it?

Never ever stop walking, even if you’ve gotta hobble. Just hang tight to this truth: you’re loved even when you don’t feel loved.  In fact: you’re very, very loved by God. You’ve been made complete and whole, and you can live the rest of your life just like that.







Live faith even when the world hollers in fear. Is there really another way to live Faith’s the antidote to fear, and here’s your shelter in the storm. Go and feel it all. Laugh with those who laugh, cry with those who cry. Learn from those who’ve tasted defeat. lived losses and endured betrayals, and still find light in the midst of their dark, they’ll help keep you grounded, keep you soft, yet strong.

Don’t be afraid of hurts. Love means you’re vulnerable to being hurt. Love anyway. Don’t expect, but always, give grace. Stop the flow of negative thoughts, train your mind to think of the finest in others, and listen, then embrace. You can do this.

On days when the walls seem to cave you in, and the doors aren’t letting you through, and on, remember: live carried.  Live carried in the arms of One who’ll never drop you.  Praise in all your place of pain. Let your gentleness be greater than your rejection, and courage find its way into your heartbreaks.  Face your mountain and move your mouth. Remember, rock bottom may be the place of growth and healing.

Every day write your story. A little here, a little there. Then find your complete story in His story. Find all you need in Him, let Him be your all – filling you, healing you, singing over you. His great ending will be yours too. So keep writing.

Every morning wake up kissing. Kiss your husband and all those breaths, let him be the first to see you, and know you. Then go and find those button noses and wrap their wriggly bodies warm. You can never kiss enough, laugh enough, so make love and life and laughs everyday to slow your ageing. Do it more today?

Live koinonia. This is your new family. They’re your new identity. You – are a channel of compassion, you – can form a deep community. You know it right? You can achieve a lot more when you band together, so love those who walk through your school, your church, your home, and tell them that they’re welcome in your life.

Believe this okay? The future will be greater than the past. He speaks and the winds were still, so let Him speak, and heal your heart with hope, form your future with His promises.

Today and for the rest of your days, don’t live for what’s glamourous. Look for the glorious.  You want to do a job? Do it right. Find your broom, wear your servant’s towel large. And don’t let mediocrity makes you average. The place of service is always the place to exalt your King. This is how you make an impact, not just an impression.

So take the hard with the holy. And live for love that outlasts them all – this sacrificial, selfless love. This is how you fly with perfect ease, and eagle up with renewed strength. 

Now close your eyes, say your prayers, and blow the last candle. Remember no matter how old you get, you can defy average, anxiety, and ageing. You can live the rest of your life burning on, instead of midway burning out.

[Rick Rigsby and his great speech that motivated me so much – thank you!]

[Photo 3 & 5, Credit to: A.Suryadi] 



8 thoughts on “How to Defy Average, Anxiety & Ageing – sticky notes to a woman on her birthday

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