When I first became a mum, I had no idea what self-care is all about, let alone the concept of making time for personal growth and nurture.
The thought of carving time out for myself amid so many other competing needs felt so selfish…so indulgent.
But as I mature, I began to realize that self-care is not selfish at all. It is essential, especially when done in the spirit of serving others and glorifying God.
True self-care teaches us to walk humbly, to live within our limitations, to recognise the source of our true sustenance, and to embrace the freedom of Sabbath rest.
What is Self-Care?
As mothers, we wear a variety of hats, juggling multiple things and being pulled in a million directions.
Mothering out of a rested heart means we intentionally seek to savour a pace and rhythm of living that allows us to recharge in the Lord so we can parent out of His fullness.
It is about being intentional in practicing the art of rest.
Self-care is also about nurturing and developing our inner lives and filling our own cup so that we may pour out into the people in our life, and be able to rise to the challenge of our day.
Slowing down doesn’t mean we’re being unproductive or idyllic, but rather being deliberate in how we spend our time and energy on what will make a true difference.
Why Is Soul-Rest So Difficult?
Because we are so accustomed to quantifying the successful life with the busy life, in the hustle and bustle of motherhood, it is easy to swing to the extremes of giving (with a ‘what’s-in-it for-me’ or a ‘martyrdom’ attitude)- which are both unhealthy and unproductive.
But the practice of true self-care in which you unplug from a world obsessed with speed, result, and productivity is actually countercultural and revolutionary. Seen in this light, self-care isn’t selfish nor self-indulgent…
Self-care is the intentional act of caring for yourself and making time to meet your own needs so that you can then meet the needs of your world.
Because learning how to savor life at an intentionally slower pace means we learn to put our trust in God rather than in pour ability to produce.
What Isn’t Self-Care
True self-care isn’t escapism from your responsibilities nor narcissism in your mentality.
It is an investment into your own life so you can be your very best version for others.
It’s important to make the distinction that:
“Selfishness thinks only about itself…Self-care, on the other hand, is about recovery, rejuvenation, and the restoration of balance. It’s about filling up oneself so you can fill others.”
Self-care, when accompanied by soul-growth, is about making space for Sabbath rest so you can be a good steward of your own life, so that your life may be a blessing to others!
This means that self-care is so much more than just having bubble baths and going for retail therapy, even though those are fun to do 🙂
Why True Self-Care Is Not Optional For Mums
We’ve all had it: everyday life’s stresses, deadlines, child care issues, and other people’s children’s health problems — we give a little of ourselves away every day. The world drains us of our reserves on a daily basis.
As a result, if we are continually depleted, and don’t take the time to intentionally refuel and recharge, we can easily become run down, physically and emotionally.
We may feel alienated from God, overburdened by life, resentful towards our family and losing the joy of motherhood. This can lead to burnout.
What is motherhood burnout?
This is a condition in which you get caught up in the demands of parenthood and find yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. It happens when you’re overwhelmed and emotionally drained from the too many demands on your time without any rest. This may happen over time, even if there hasn’t been any one particular incident.
You simply can’t give what you don’t have.
The better you are at taking care of yourself, the better you would be at taking care of others.
When you think about it, self-care is actually the ingredient you need to live a selfless life. When you allow for adequate rest and recreation, you will be restored and rejuvenated to give your best to the people in your world.
What are the 5 pillars of Self-Care
Now when it comes to thinking about what would keep you topped up, what comes to your mind?
Different self-care activities can help you in different areas of your life, and different individuals would value different things that would make them feel full and renewed. But here are 5 key pillars of self-care that are important for every mum to focus on:
1. Physical self-care
This would involve anything that has to do with taking care of your physical body and well-being like:
- getting enough sleep
- eating a nutritious diet
- being physically active
- making time for regular checkups
- Taking breaks when you need to rest
Self-care is not about being a martyr or pushing yourself beyond your limits, so include fun activities like dancing with your kids, tree top balancing, or walking in the rain.
2. Emotional self-care
Emotional self-care is about attending to your feelings and needs, processing them in a healthy way, and managing stress.
For mums especially, it’s important to know how to be emotionally healthy so you can shape your children’s emotional well-being.
Some self-care ideas in this area would be:
- Identifying and expressing your emotions in a healthy way
- Identifying and expressing your emotions in a healthy way
- Saying no when you need to
- Identifying and managing stressors in your life
- Setting boundaries with others in situations that are not good for you.
- Taking time out for yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed
- Doing things that make you feel most fulfilled and satisfied.
- Remembering your hobbies and doing them!
- Understanding your family origin, and taking time to understand how you are wired the way you are
- Starting something new: a new hobby, supporting a social cause, championing the child in your life, starting a new business, taking up a new study, fostering a child, training a puppy
3. Mental self-care
This pillar of self-care is about taking care of your mental health. It’s about making time for activities that help you relax and de-stress, as well as activities that challenge your mind and help you to grow. Some self-care ideas in this area would be:
- Making time for activities that you enjoy and make you feel good
- Doing things that make you laugh
- Staying curious and learning new things
- Taking breaks when you need to rest
- Challenging negative thinking patterns
- Practicing gratitude.
- Developing a new skill that interest you, or even a new recipe
- Keeping a manageable schedule
- Learning coping skill
4. Social self-care
Having healthy friendships is so important for the longevity of our motherhood! These are the women who will laugh with us, cry with us, and help us through the tough times. Some ideas in this area would be:
- Spending time with people whose company you enjoy
- Making time for meaningful conversations
- Doing things that make you feel connected to others
- Reaching out when you need help
- Letting go of relationships that are not good for you.
- Spending time with the least, the lonely, and the last
5. Spiritual self-care
Ultimately, the true rest that our soul is really longing for is found in Christ alone. Nurturing our relationship with Him should be at the top of our self-care list. Below are some self-care ideas in this area:
- Prayer, reflection and being still before the Lord
- Reading the Bible and other faith-building books
- Attending church and small groups
- Walking in the woods or spending time in nature
- Doing things that inspire wonder and awe
- Serving others
- Starting a legacy project
- Declaring Sabbath every particular day of the week
Conclusion
Self-care is vital for all of us, but especially in our role as mothers.
It’s so important to take care of ourselves emotionally, mentally, socially, and spiritually so that we can be the best possible versions of ourselves for our families.
When we make self-care a priority, we’re not only investing in our well-being, but we’re also setting a good example for our children.
So let’s make true self-care a priority in our lives, Mamas!
And let’s pursue the rest the Lord intended for us!