Dear Son,
Today we celebrated Father’s Day.
We had lots of fun and shared lots of laughter, but not everyone has that privilege.
Father’s Day elicits a range of emotions in different people.
It can be sobering for those who have grown up without a dad and sorrowful for others who have been hurt by their dads.
And your dad is a precious gift from your Heavenly Father, but with this gift also comes a responsibility.
Actually, having a good father is not just a gift; it’s a calling — a charge to the kind of man you will one day have to be.
I could feel it deeply in my heart when I saw the way you gathered around your dad tonight, so Son, let me speak this directly to your heart:
Do you know what distinguishes a son becoming a man and a man becoming a father?
Three simple words:
“I. LOVE. YOU.”
But it’s not just about saying these words; it’s about living them daily.
It’s how we translate living well by loving well that really matters at the end of the day. And no, your Mama hasn’t always got it right and I’ve failed miserably so many times before.
But listen,
“I love you” may be the simplest words to say, yet the hardest to give, because real loving means real giving. Remember the verse: Christ so loved the world that He gave? (John 3:16).
Son, I see it now — boys grow into men when they choose to love others with a love greater than themselves.
They become men when they possess a love that serves, not selfishly, but selflessly. This is what builds a man his character and raises his calibre.
You asked me how to be a strong guy? This is how you build muscles: truly care from the heart, genuinely, and without selfish ambition.
Our greatest legacy is the impact we leave on the people in our lives, and love requires strength and there’s no sissification about that.
Your shoulders will have to be strong. Your love muscles will have to put on flesh. One day, they will bear the weight of an unpredictable world, whatever that means to you.
So I want you rugged, but gentle.
I need you steadfast, yet sympathetic.
I dream of you strong, but soft-hearted.
You’re called to see women as mothers and sisters, never as tools or toys.
You’re called to love those in your life by giving your life to them, never about taking what’s precious away from them.
You’re called to love in ways that are holy, and not Hollywood.
And this is what love really is: to love people in all their imperfections, to break down barriers with your own courage, to forgive those who have hurt you, and to rise above your own fears and doubts when your own trust has been betrayed.
So, practice saying this: ‘Love has captured my heart, fear no longer controls me.’
Say it, believe it, and then live it.
Start with your sisters today. Give them fruits, offer them your help, and share with them your time and toys.
This is the calling for your gender and generation. Serve others with love. This is simply the way the world will know that we are His disciples. It is His love made tangible through us.
So, let’s spend the coming years growing into that calling.
And yes, you can start practising with me tonight.
Give me a kiss on the cheek when you see me first thing in the morning.
Look me in the eyes when I pick you up from school and ask, ‘How was your day, Mum?’ not ‘Do you have a snack for me, Mama?’
Open the car door for your sister—don’t rush to get in. She’s younger, so always ask, ‘Are you okay, sis?‘ and never this attitude: ‘Make me okay, sis.’
Let’s begin with these simple acts.
Consider this your current mission.
One day, it will become your ministry.
And loving well can simply be your greatest profession.